I desperately need advice

I was in a car accident the other day, not my fault, but my car was totalled. Yesterday I spent most of the day laying in bed because I was so sore. Today I felt better, but am without transportation until I find out what’s happening with my insurance. So bored out of my mind, but still feeling a little too sore to do anything I made up a fake email and thought I’d go on my boyfriend’s blog, mess with him a little for kicks. This is where the problem started.

I find he is on an explicit blog where lude/naked photos are allowed. I then started reading his blog posts, most were normal stuff…about music he likes and what not. Then I started reading his comments and other women, one in particular he had comments back and fourth talking about phone sex and he was calling these other women sexy and babe and all of the pet names he calls me. He even had pictures of himself barely covering his naughty bits that he was sharing with these women! I know he speaks to one of them on the phone on a regular basis and emails and texts others, he said they are his friends so I had only lightly questioned him about it (I have a lot of guy friends myself after all).

I’ve been with my boyfriend for almost 3 years, and I thought we had a great relationship. We have the same tastes in music, movies, same sense of humor, our minds seemed totally in sync. He has helped me through some tough times. I love him, with all my heart.

Now my trust in him is shaken. I called him and told him about what I did and saw, he swears he loves me and the phone sex thing is made up between him and his friend to keep from being hit on. Which is a nice story that I’d like to believe, but I can’t unsee what i saw. He then said I was acting insane and making something out of nothing. If they’re all just friends what’s up with exchanging sexy photos with them and using all the pet names, and talking about phone sex? Am I acting insane?

Part of me wants to break up with him, part of me wants to go on that site and give him a taste of his own medicine, and part of me wants to forget what I saw, believe him and move on. I can’t bring myself to do any if these things.

I don’t know what to do, please any advice anyone could give will be greatly appreciated.

-SR
Survive Reality, Live the Dream

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